The Perfect Gift for…His Ex?

Harmony around the holidays can be a real challenge for mixed families. It’s an emotionally charged, busy time, filled with memories of holiday’s past and custodial negotiation. Still, there is something you can do to help make this Christmas merry for all.

You can get your hubby’s ex wife a gift.

Not from you, silly. From the kids. See, Dad used to have that job. He would schlep the kids to the mall and try to find a present for Mom. Now that they’re divorced, he’s probably grateful to cross her off his gift list. But this means Mom isn’t getting a present from her kids this year, unless they’re teenagers and can fend for themselves (in which case, good luck to her!).

But if your stepchildren are young, taking them out to choose a present for Mom is just about the best move you could make this year. Better still (for Mom) is you actually have an idea of what might be an appropriate gift, so she’s probably going to love it.

Here are a few tips for choosing the perfect gift for your husband’s ex:

1. Don’t Be a Scrooge – Spending too little on a present for Mom is in bad form, especially because she will find out that you were behind this (not so) grand gesture. Make sure that you find a quality gift that shows you and the kids care. That means no bargain basement finds, and absolutely no free gifts with purchase.

2. Give it Thought – Brainstorm ideas for the gift(s) with your stepchildren so that you can come up with a personal gift that shows you gave it a lot of thought. Generic presents such as gift baskets and armchair throws just won’t cut it.

3. Let the Kids Decide – If your stepchildren have a specific present in mind that you don’t agree with, just get it anyway. They know her best, and she’s going to love anything they pick out themselves. If you think she might appreciate something else, pick that up too, and have all of the kids give it to her as a bonus gift.

Getting a present for your hubby’s ex wife can go a long way toward fostering trust between the two of you, and togetherness between you and the kids. It shows you honor their mother, which makes everyone feel good. And that, savvy girl, is what family is all about.